


Always.

by orphan_account



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Komahina - Freeform, M/M, Song Lyrics, komaeda being self deprecating as usual, komahina angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10325132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Even when despair seems like your only option, hope will be with you. Always.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Basically a short one shot with an edit of the song Cancer, the twenty one pilots cover since t's that much angstier. I apologize in advance.

-Turn away-

It was quiet for once. Nothing but the sound of the calm ocean washing itself up onto the shore smoothly. The bright rays of the slowly setting sun warming my skin as I sat with my knees up to my chest on the beach. No life threatening trials, no murder, no death, but most importantly...

...no despair.

I let out a deep sigh as I leaned back on my hands in the soft sand, suddenly feeling the presence of another person beside me. I didn't even have to turn my head to know who had arrived. Of course, it had to be the lucky boy.

Nagito Komaeda.

I always wondered what kind of luck this boy possessed that made him so famous among the Hope's Peak High School students. It didn't seem to me that you could really consider luck an Ultimate Level Talent in the first place. I guess I would never know.

-If you could get me a drink of water-

I always tend to be cautious around Komaeda, as there are constantly new and terrifying things I'm learning about him. Not to mention sad. I mean, stage 3 lymphoma accompanied by frontotemporal dementia? Honestly, how does this kid cope?

"Komaeda..." I said, deciding to ask him, "do you ever get scared?"

He looked at me with a confused expression and tilted his head to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, with your condition, do you... um..." I trailed off. It seemed like I was hitting a bad spot with this topic, but I've seen Komaeda talk about his diagnosis freely before as if it was nothing, so it had to be okay to ask. Komaeda looked away from me.

"You're asking me if I fear death?"

I flinched. "I... didn't want to put it that bluntly..."

"It's fine," Komaeda replied nonchalantly, "but... why would you care anyways?"

-Cuz my lips are chapped and faded-

I was about to answer when Komaeda turned himself to face me with a rather casual expression on his face.

"I'm simply a piece of trash waiting to be thrown away. It'd be a cleaner world if I was to die."

For some reason his words made my heart sting. Not my world, I thought. To be honest, I very much liked Komaeda. It's not like I could really explain it, but somehow, I always kind of felt this strong bond between us, as if we were somehow.... the same.

"W-Well, I care because..." I stuttered, still attempting to form my response "Well I've known you for a while now haven't I? You can imagine how shocking it would be to me and everyone if you suddenly died."

"Liar."

"Huh?"

My head snapped in his direction. He was glaring directly at me, whether it was with fury or disappointment, I couldn't tell.

"Don't act so clueless," he said, "I know you've noticed it too."

-Call my Aunt Marie-

Confused, I hesitantly responded. "Noticed... what?"

Without warning, Komaeda grabbed me by my tie and wrenched me forward.

"Just admit it already!" he shouted, his volume rising about five levels more than when he had previously spoken "Why did you come back to me, of all people!?"

His voice was cracking, and I saw his eyes begin to well up with tears. He gripped me tighter, forcing me closer to him as he spoke.

"Day after day," he cried, "you spent your free time with someone as worthless as me. Why...? There are so many others here for you to be with, so many others whose time with you isn't limited... You're wasting your time and your feelings..."

-Help her gather all my things-

Those last words made me snap. I wrenched myself free of Komaeda's grasp and forcibly grabbed onto his shoulders in the same manner he had. I didn't know what I was doing, or why, but I couldn't stand to hear him talk like this.

"Komaeda, you listen to me, alright!?" I said, slightly louder than I intended "From the moment I met you on this beach, I knew something about you was... unique."

Tears continued to stream down Komaeda's face, and the sight of him right then made my heart want to break. I continued, though I heard my voice weakening.

"That something was gravitating about you. And I couldn't ignore it. I wanted to learn more about you. The real you. The real Nagito Komaeda."

Komaeda seemed so shocked at what I was saying that he couldn't form a retort. My grip loosened on him a bit, and I began to speak clearer again.

"Yes, there were times when I couldn't tell what was going through your head, or during trials when you would confuse and irritate the living shit out of me... But there were also times when I saw nothing but a determined, hope obsessed fanboy who was trying so hard to do his part even though no one trusted him."

-And bury me in all my favorite colors-

Komaeda averted his eyes, and instead looked to the ground and smoothed the sand out with his hand.

"You were strong. You were passionate...

...You became my spark of Hope."

"...Hajime..." Komaeda said softly. I felt my heart flutter when he used my first name, but it was soon drowned out by the last emotion I expected to surface just then. Anger.

I forced Komaeda to look at me as I yelled in conclusion, "So don't ever call my feelings for you a waste, you bastard!!!"

Komaeda's eyes widened. So did mine.

Did I just... unintentionally confess to him?

I covered my mouth quickly and lowered my head in embarrassment. Neither of us spoke for a moment, but I soon felt a warm hand touch my cheek, and that's when I looked up into Komaeda's eyes again.

"You know," he said, "I actually don't fear death. I actually don't mind dying at all."

-My sisters and my brothers still-

I wasn't really surprised by his answer. I mean, Komaeda never really seemed to have any regard for his life when it came to the mutual killings, and he even offered himself up as a sacrifice so at least one person could escape this island. Stupid that I asked.

"What I really fear," Komaeda said, leaning closer so that I could feel his warm breath on my cheek "...is not living."

I was about to speak again before Komaeda pressed his lips against mine, catching me off guard. I twined my arms around his neck, savoring it, every second. It was soft and blissful, something I didn't expect from someone like him.

He really was my spark of Hope.

-I will not kiss you-

"Ko..."

Komaeda lowered his head and blushed intensely with embarrassment, I had never called him by that nickname before. His reaction was cute, so I decided to tease him a bit.

"I might call you that from now on," I smirked, leaning closer, "Ko-chaaaaaan~"

Komaeda blushed redder and stared at me blankly for a moment before his expression hardened and he looked away slightly.

"You-! You... ugh, quit teasing me..."

"Well, it made you happy now didn't it?" I chuckled. Komaeda didn't look at me, but I thought I could see a hint of a smile on his face. We didn't speak for a while and my eyes shifted over to the sight of the slowly setting sun. The clouds were now a glowing hot pink, the fluffiness of them reminding me of Komaeda's messy, white hair.

-Cuz the hardest part of this-

"Komaeda...?" I asked, breaking the calm silence.

"Hmm?"

"Are you happy?"

"Of course I am."

"Even... even though you know your time is almost up...?"

Komaeda went silent. I thought for a moment that maybe I had struck a nerve with that question, but before long Komaeda simply sighed, then stood up and looked out towards the open sea.

"Well, for me personally..." he began, his voice surprisingly calm while he spoke.

"I could care less if I died in a year, half a year, or even tomorrow morning to be honest. Because at least I'll know that someone like me had an impact on someone like you. I'll know that my worthless existence did have some meaning after all. I was lucky enough to have that."

-Is leaving you-

Komaeda turned to face me, a soft gentle expression plastering his face. He smiled, that smile that I've come to love so much, and I wouldn't know what to do without.

"That's what keeps my heart at peace." he said.

I stood up, and walked over to his side. Sliding my hand into his own warm one, I gazed into his green-gray orbs, and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Then promise me something." I murmured, at which Komaeda turned his head in my direction and gave me a questioning look.

-Turn away-

"Promise me you'll never call yourself trash ever again."

It took a moment for him to respond.

"...Why would you ask me to promise something like that?"

"Because you're lying to yourself," I said softly into his ear, "Komaeda, don't take a lie to your grave. Just... promise me."

-Cuz I'm awful just to see-

Komaeda hesitated. But I was persistent. I couldn't stand to see him be so self-deprecating to himself anymore. He just didn't understand. He didn't understand that he was worth so much more. At least...

...to me.

"I...I..." Komaeda stuttered, and I squeezed his hand a little tighter.

"Nagito..." I said, my cheeks tinting a light pink, "...you're my treasure."

-And all my hair's abandoned all my body-

Komaeda's hand went stiff around my own. When I finally managed to tear my eyes away from the horizon and onto his beautiful face, he was blushing intensely. Quickly, and without saying a word, he brought his hand to the back of my head and kissed me quickly, returning to his original position soon after.

"Okay..." was all he said after that.

"I promise."

-All my agony-

\---

That day, my love had never been stronger.

But then, six months and ten days later, long after the trip, the killings, all the despair....

That day came.

-Know that I will never marry-

Nothing could've stopped it, and the doctors and Mikan couldn't do anything.

I was there beside him as I saw the light leave his eyes.

I stayed by his side clutching his cold pale hand for hours until I was told I had to leave.

-Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo-

And for days, I cried until I became dehydrated.

I was pretty convinced that I was in hell.

-I'm counting down the days to go-

-

But, over time, things got easier. I cried less and less when I visited his grave. It burned less and less when I recalled his memory. I never started seeing anyone else though, because in my heart I knew that it would only belong to him, and him alone.

-This just ain't livin'-

Today, I visited his grave for the third time without breaking down.

I stood in front of the stone, a small, four leafed clover pinched between my fingers.

-And I just h o p e you know-

"Hello again," I said to the stone- no, I said to Komaeda "I was going to bring flowers this time, but I thought this might suit you better. Lucky I found it, huh?"

I placed the bright green clover at the base of the stone, a sad smile making its way onto my lips. I didn't cry though, by now I had learned to control my tears. As I went to get to my feet, I stopped when I saw something white poking out from behind the stone. Reaching behind it, I withdrew the envelope from behind the gravestone.

-That if you say-

On the front, it was addressed to me, saying 'Hajime Hinata' in soft, curly letters.

Not wasting a second, I tore the envelope open and stared at its contents. Inside was a small piece of folded paper, which I pulled out and unfolded. I stared at the message written there for a long... long time.

-Goodbye today-

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. -Ko"

After a few minutes of silence, I let go. I laughed. I laughed and laughed. Soon enough my laughing began to mix with choked sobs, tears rolling down my cheeks in salty, cascading streams, dripping off my chin and onto the paper I held. My hands shook as I cried and laughed, and the shaking caused something else to fall from the envelope.

-I will ask you to be true-

My sobbing momentarily subsided as I leaned forward to identify the object. And my heart tore in two.

It was a ring. A small, golden ring.

-Cuz the hardest part of this-

-

Nagito Komaeda.

You were always in search of hope, but you could never realize that the hope you sought lay within your very being.

And even so...

You kept your promise.

-Is leaving you-

I slid the ring onto my finger, clutching the small note to my heart and sobbing profusely. Strangely however, no matter how much it stung just then...

...I didn't feel despair.

-Yes the hardest part of this-

No, for at that moment, I was positively, and entirely filled with hope.

Absolute hope.

I raised my head to gaze at the sky, towards the clouds that reminded me so much of my beautiful luckster's snow white locks.

"You still never fail to surprise me, do you?"

-I w i l l n o t k i s s y o u-


End file.
